O son, please accept my apology for not being able to post something useful for you in the last two days. We are all subject to "Hukum Waqt" or the Laws of Time. And Time for me in the last couple of days (or at all times I should say) was to surrender to His Will.
For now I wish to share a couplet from Qasidah al-Burdah by Imam al-Busairi:
Amar tulkal khaira lakin ma' tamartu bihi
Wamas taqamtu fama qauli lakas taqimi
'My sins are heavy for I have asked you to do good deeds while I fail to do them myself. And I have asked you to be istiqamah yet I myself waver.'
Alhamdulillah, for only a murshid can diagnose one's spiritual illness, and I was lucky to have been given counsel on my shortcomings. Therefore, O son, I must go back to what I have ordered you to do recently which was reading and understanding the truth about tawhid and hence avoid the unforgivable sin of syirik - particularly that of syirik khafi. It is no wonder that syirik khafi is said to be like 'a black ant on a black stone on a dark night'. So let us all take heed.
I had on sunday had the opportunity to sit before Sheikh Nurrudin al-Banjari who hails from Indonesia. He is a well known 'aleem who is regarded as 'Azharu Thani' meaning 'the second al-Azhar'. We studied ahadith and one of them really brought much comfort to my ears.
It was narrated that the hajar aswad (the black stone) on Kaabah will rise in the hereafter having two eyes and be witness to those who did 'istilam' - those who waved or kissed it. And the Baitullah will be like a bride escorted by those who did tawaf in their lifetime - all will walk with the Bride into the Heavens bi-iznillah.
O son, may we find encouragement in increasing our good deeds for when we die the good places that we have frequented for zikr or ilm will weep our passing and be ever ready to defend us and grant shafaat bi-iznillah.
Reference: Qasidah Burdah is a translation from a book on the same by Ahmad Lutfi bin Abdul Wahab al Linggi