I am touched that one of our sisters is in despair for not being able to do something she has been meaning to do - wear hijab. I can emphatise with her. I pray that Allah will grant her patience while she waits for strength from Him. Truly, there is no power and no strength save with Allah, the High the Great. La hawla wala quwata ilah billahil 'Aliyil 'Azim.
Surely, she is one of those who has been given hidayah, but she is yet to receive tawfik (the strength) to implement her niyyat (intention) of wearing hijab.
We learned from our guru to not make the common mistakes of praying for tawfik & hidayah but for hidayah & tawfik. Our guru said that the order of the words are significant. One first gets hidayah or guidance from Allah to do a good thing and then the strength or tawfik to actually carry it out. He said, 'Many people are given hidayah on solat. Many people know the rulings, they are aware of it but do you think everybody does it? So we see that only a few people are actually given the tawfik to perform solat. Think about it. So pray for hidayah wal tawfik.'
Another guru of mine said, 'Why do you think someone can speak English? It's because Allah give him tawfiqi - the strength to speak English. So different people get different tawfiqi from Allah. Some people can speak Arabic well, some can speak English, though it's not their mother tongue.'
O son, every now and then, I would reminisce my 'jahiliyah' days. The days when I was in great despair as I could not even bring myself to the prayer mat. I would just sit in my room and stare at the spot where I had placed a prayer mat. But I just could not do it! Allahu Akbar!
So know that when you pray or do anything good, it's not because you are 'naturally' good but because Allah give you hidayah and tawfik to do it. Be patient, have sabr and keep striving when you seem to be lacking of hidayah and tawfik. And be grateful (shukur) when He bless you with it and make you do good deeds.
We pray for continued guidance and strength from Allah so that He keeps us on the Straight Path always, and grant us a good ending. Ameen Allahumma ameen.