Habib Hassan al-Attas (pic) said:
We are gathered here today to remember and honor the woman who was loved most by Rasulullah, the Beloved of Allah. Muhammad is the beloved of Allah and Khatijah is the beloved of Muhammad. May by this gesture of honoring the one Prophet loves, Rasulullah will be pleased with us.
Know that if you die out of love and adoration for a man or a woman, you are destined to go to heaven. It is He, Allah who cause love and attraction between a man and a woman. It is a sacred gift. Sometimes a man loves a woman a lot and only from a distant as he cannot afford to marry her yet for whatever reasons. He adores and fantasizes about her. He drowns himself in loving her. So long as he does not engage in courting her unlawfully, so long as he does not commit ma'siat or zina with her, should he die while loving her dearly like that, he would go to heaven! The same applies to woman.
There is a story of such fatal love affair attributed to Yazid bin Abdul Malik. He once bought a slave named Hababah for 1000 dinar. When Hababah died, Yazid mourned over her and refused to bury her until days later after much persuasion. Not long after burying Hababah, Yazid digged her grave to look at his beloved's face. Her body had begun to deform but Yazid said, 'Oh how beautiful her face is!' He then locked himself up in a room for 17 days and passed away.
Why did the Prophet love Khatijah so much? She was the first person to believe him and embrace Islam. She believed him when others were skeptical. She helped him with her wealth. She gave him zuriat. In fact all of his offsprings came only from her through Fatimah binti Rasulullah. The Prophet had 9 wives but none gave him children save Khatijah.
A lover would do anything for his/her beloved. Khatijah gave her all to Muhammad. She trusted him wholeheartedly. When the first surah from the Qur'an was revealed, she believed him. A man who has more than one wife may be fair in his dealings with his wives but he can never be fair in matters of love and feelings. It was evident that the Prophet favored Khatijah the most. She was the queen of his heart.
Why would a 25 year old man like Muhammad marry a 40 year old woman, a single mother with three children? We must remember that Muhammad was orphaned when he was 6 years old. His ailing mother Aminah died while hugging her little boy, in the presence of his foster mother Ummu Aiman who later took him to Makkah. Although he was always taken care by Allah, the Prophet had been missing motherly love. When he married a mature woman like Khatijah, he got to experience the kind of love he lacked. But of course Khatijah gave him more than motherly love. She was a superb wife, a trusted friend, a wonderful lover, a good advisor, everything!
The Prophet lived a meagre life with his poor uncle Abu Talib. When he married Khatijah, she surrendered all her wealth and businesses to him. She let him take over her already thriving enterprises and he made them to grow more profitable. Khatijah loved him even more for having done that. The Prophet was very generous so he gave away most of their wealth for the sake of Islam. Both husband and wife preferred others over their own needs and satisfactions. When she died, he had to borrow money to buy her burial cloth.
All five of the six children that she bore him, Kasim, Abdullah, Zainab, Ruqayah and Umi Kalsum died. It was fated that Fatimah was the only child who survived and honored with giving Rasulullah his noble descendants (waris). There is a wisdom in that. The Arabs at that time hated women and daughters. Rasulullah on the contrary showed them that he had a favorite daughter and he married so many women.
Not too long ago there was one amazing incident about a man who became heavily influenced by Saidatina Khatijah. His name was Habib Ahmad bin Muhammad al-Muhdhori. One fateful day, Habib Ahmad attended the Friday prayers at Masjidil Haram. The imam was said to have given a long khutbah (Friday sermon). Habib got upset because the imam was not following sunnah of Rasulullah to keep kuthbah shorter than prayers. As soon as the congregational prayer ended, he went up to the imam to reprimand him for going against the sunnah. He slapped the imam's face! The authority at Masjidil Haram quickly ran after him. Habib Ahmad fled onto the streets of Makkah. He then escaped to the Ma'ala graveyard. At that time the grave of Saidatina Khatijah had a dome over it. He went into hiding in her holy maqam. The police and everybody else saw him there so they cordoned off the area and went inside to catch him. But he was not there!
It was said that Habib Ahmad came out of Saidatina Khatijah's maqam 3 days later. He was overcome with a great hal (state). He would say 'Saidatina Khatijah said this', 'Saidatina Khatijah said that'. One of the things Saidatina Khatijah told him was that when the time comes for Habib Ahmad to pray in one long saf with his children and grand children that would mean that death is near. One day Habib Ahmad noticed that came to be true. He died a few days later.
One of the noteworthy things Habib Ahmad had done after his extraordinary experience hiding in Saidatina Khatijah's maqam was to compose a qasidah. The qasidah has become popular to this day. It has 28 stanza. It is known as: Ya Allah Hu biha, Ya Allah Hu biha, Ya Allah Hu bi husnil khatimah OR the qasidah of Habib Ahmad bin Muhammad al-Muhdhori, may Allah be pleased with him.
O son, with shafaat Rasulullah, I seek the barakah from Saidatina Khatijah RadiaAllahu anha that for this little sharing I make about her, I pray I would become a good woman whom she would always be proud of. Ameen Ya Allah Ya Raheem.