Thursday, September 23, 2010



Oh I don't know how to begin this. I have never really thought about my age until now. It's kinda scary, wallahi! I never realized that I am aging until now as I am turning 40 soon. Oh Ya Allah! It feels like I've been cut into pieces by the sword of time. Oh no my age is not a secret, never a secret. Two important decades - my 20s and 30s are hovering over my head like a big question mark, where did they go? What was I doing? Astaghfirullah al-Azim!

Suddenly I feel like I am selfish. My mother is 71 and she is still playing her role well, mothering me. Her life is about giving her all to her children especially me. What about me? Who benefits from me? You know the saying that parents are wali, because of them you get to see the moon and the stars. Yet all I am thinking about is what else do I want to see? I, me? Astaghfirullah al-Azim!

O people, I am sorry  this entry is a bit personal but I am open. I speak my mind, truthfully InshaAllah.  

Forty is a crucial age. How you live your life after this age will sum up who you truly are. That's what many wise men say. If I were to be given another decade how would I spend it? Oh Ya Allah show me the way.

O Allah, if I could have one wish granted, it is to let a few souls have the opportunity to see the moon and the stars, so he/she knows that You exist, so he/she knows who You are.
Allah hummaj 'al au sa'a rizqika
'alaiya 'inda kibari sinni wan qitho'i 'umuri

O Allah! Expand for me Your provision
till my old age
and till the end of my life.



  1. Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

    ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key

    You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

    ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!

    But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

    You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

    But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

    So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

    You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

    You get into your 80′s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

    Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
    May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

    1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’

    2. Keep only cheerful friends.. The grouches pull you down.

    3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

    4. Enjoy the simple things.

    5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath

    6. The tears happen.. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

    7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

    8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

    9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

    10. Tell the people you love that you love them,at every opportunity.

    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


    A lighthearted read, hopefully, one that will reduce the weight on your heart. Remember we are travellers in this world, age is a factor that hurts us all, but we must let it. A reminder to myself first before you.

    Love you always,

  2. Oh my dear R,
    Hugs! Thank you. I needed that badly.
    I like these lines the most:
    - Tell the people you love that you love them,at every opportunity.
    and that
    - Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

    Love u too,

  3. Salam Ezza,

    (You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone).

    That's me.....sigh

    Anyway it is just a number...dont worry about it dear. Worry about you and HIM....worry whether HE loves you.

    At my secret too.. will turn 54 doesnt matter if my other half doesnt love me but i want HIM TO LOVE ME...Ya Allah Ya Waduud.....

    And it is true (Keep only cheerful friends.. The grouches pull you down). Waste of time....

    And of course i love this too:
    - Tell the people you love that you love them,at every opportunity.
    and that
    - Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

    Anyway thanks 'R' whoever you are for letting me sharing those beautiful advice....

    Salam Ukhwah,
    Kak Mastura

  4. No worries. I don't like knowing you are feeling down, its an awful state to be in. I feel like I have hit an all time low :((( I just don't feel connected to Allah swt or myself, I feel like I dont know what I am doing anymore. I have lost my zeal and determination to do good acts - with a view to eradicate the bad ones inshallah. But this is no longer motivating me. In despair.


  5. My dear R,
    Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,
    I wish you were here in KL so you could join 5 of my girlfriends for a party at my place. I will be doing some cooking for them this weekend. InshaAllah.
    You know I have been feeling down for the past few days. I'm usually like that every year before my Bday, that's what my close buddies noticed about me. When I am down, I would just sleep. Sleep is the best act of surrender. Let Him heal you while you sleep. I have also been listening to Maher Zain's InshaAllah like non-stop.
    Dear R, please do not be hard on yourself, if you can't seem to do any good acts, then just think about Him, contemplate. Just lie down, play some good nashid and think about Him.
    He is watching you and He is with you.
    Much love and du'a,

  6. It is your birthday?! Well that explains the age centered posts! Allhamdulliah! I celebrate your existence, subhanallah subhanallah to your existence. Allah swt has been most gracious to place you amongst us, may He continue to strengthen your heart as you journey on to Him. Just think he has given you another year to get closer to Him inshallah, another chance to eradicate anything bad you have done, the sins you have committed knowing and unknowingly, surely at the time of our death we will wish for another chance to come back here, at that moment our age and concerns of this world will diminish in an instance. I hope Allah grants you with these thoughts so that you this world does not bring you down, and nor does your birth certificate:) All praise is due to Allah swt in all circumstances. Inshallah I pray you have a lovely day, a beautiful day, like you deserve :))) Happy, happy birthday!

    I have to say you are the youngest looking 40 year old I have ever seen and your mother looks so young too! You have been blessed with a lovely face. I was so happy to see you grace my screen, surely a friend is happy to see another friend. And that too a friend in Islam, what could be better than that.

    Aah never mind, who knows what the future could bring and if I do have the opportunity to be in your company I will request you cook for me then, and I will hold you to that :)

    p.s. Sleep is a good solution, the waswas from the Shaytan taunt me, I am trying to repent but he keeps getting in my way, to the point where I feel like I am happy of what I am repenting from , astaghfirrullah, how can this be? I am happy to have disobeyed Him?? This is my current dispicable state. Sleep is a temporary escape from myself, when I awake I am thrown back into this loop of thoughts. As you can see myself is a mess :(( Only Allah can help me, but I feel he is too far:(

    p.p.s I have that song in my car, it is a rather lovely song.

  7. MashaAllah tabarakallah Sister, I am touched and humbled by your kind words and wishes.
    Thank you, for I truly appreciate your companion in this virtual space we all share.
    May Allah lift you from the qabdhu state you are facing. May Allah keep your heart beautiful and your soul serene. Ameen.
    Love you for the sake of Allah,