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Bismillah.

Alhamdulillah wa shukrulillah. I am sitting here alone in my living room looking out to a city which is less merry now than it was about two hours ago. The fireworks are over. The shimmering lights on the twin towers have dimmed. Maybe it's time to think about this new page which we have just turned to - first page of 2013.

It is still somewhat blank as of now, without plans lined up for the next 12 months. In doing so, I remind myself to plot with the end in mind. The end is death. Gloomy as it may sound, it is inevitable. But as a believer, it should be a happy ending or rather a new beginning bi-iznillah. So let's think eternal.

IF I may think aloud [Well, I will write anything that comes to mind anyway which is not fair because you get to peek on the window to my soul but I can't do yours!]

Anyway, IF I may think aloud, I am thinking what if I were to die this year? Oh please, I pray and pray I get to perform hajj first. [I am negotiating with my Lord, yes.]

By God's permission, IF we were destined to perform hajj this year, we would want a hajj mabrur don't we. We learned that hajj mabrur is about before, during and after the hajj itself. And the before, technically speaking, starts today 1st January 2013 Bismillah. May Allah take notice of this one intention of ours. So IF I were a hajjah-to-be [I like it that my good friend has been calling me this. Thanks Hajjah Nisa!] IF I were a hajjah-to-be, I must behave, act and speak differently. Similarly, IF you were a hajji-to-be, you would want to behave, act and speak differently too, I am sure. So let's start early in January.

It's a good psychological conditioning regardless of the outcome because hajj is more than a ritual that takes place towards year-end. It's not something that we should only think about after Syawal. It is a significant milestone in one's psychological being. It's about wanting to be reborn anew, fresh and clean, to start all over, to begin a new page and start right. Something like 1st Jan of each new year.

IF is quite a big word. It opens up to new possibilities. We are told to pray as IF it's our last prayer. We are told to pray as IF we could see the One we are prostrating to.

IF Allah had not blessed me with Lisan al-Din, He might have given the opportunity to someone else. It's easy for Him to replace us with another folk/nation. Allah says in the Qur'an, At Tawbah 9:39 --

"IF you do not march forth (in the way of Allah), He will chastise you with a painful punishment and will replace you with another nation, and you can do no harm to Him at all. Allah is powerful to do anything."

[Translation by Mufti Muhammad Taqi Uthmani]

IF Allah had not guided us to the straight path, we might be partying and what not, like we used to do on new year's eve. Astaghfirullah. Allah guides whom He wills. Allah gives to whomever He wills.

Alhamdulillah wa shukrulillah. May He bestow upon us a bigger bounty for the little gratitude that we could offer to Him.

Subhanallah walhamdulillah wa lailahaillAllah wallahu Akbar!

- Eza - 

1.1.2013