Math-wise | 67,525 + n

Bismillah.

The conversationalist side of me resurfaces for some reason, for the moment.

As I was casually, (how dare you O self) but that's what it was; as I casually recited 200 after 200 of Istighfar on my way to the "magic number" prescribed by Habib Umar bin Hafiz, I came to a realization.

For this month of Rajab the habib recommended three types of Istighfar to be recited 5000x each. So that's 3 x 5000 = 15,000 before moving on to recite selawat 5000x at the minimum.

At first I thought that's a LOT! Then my left brain independently decided to do some maths.

50 (one's age) - 13 (average age when solat becomes obligatory for you) = 37 × 365 (days in a year) = 

13,505 days x 5 solat per day = 67,525 solat.

Imagine seeking forgiveness for each solat obligation all your life, even if you did not miss any, think of the quality of your solah, how your mind wandered far on the 1st minute upon performing takbiratul ihram.

Compare that with 15,000.

What's the ratio? 

OK you may be young so the ratio is smaller. But let's just say you should have recited at least 100 selawat a day. So how does the equation look like? What is 15,000 compared to the quantity, let alone quality of prayers and selawat that should give you bare minimum qualification as a Muslim, not even a Mukmin, hello!

It goes without saying that we are on a "calorie deficit" if we were to count the number of transgressions committed on a daily basis eg. being rude to your mother, and not having a good opinion towards the Lord, so on and so forth. So what is 15,000 as a redemption voucher, if you like? 

In my case, at the very basic, 1 out of the 15,000 istighfar is to redeem 4.5 solah. I don't have the heart to discount my lady-off-days because the Lord did not go on leave, mind you. Yes, the istighfar is short but hey 4.5 solah carries a lot of credit towards one's "degree".

So think about it. Let's give a little more feel to each istighfar, a lot more consciousness for the weight it warrants. 

Let's not rush it.

- A novice's rambling