Social rules

Bismillah.

Feel like talking to myself tonight. Just feel like thinking aloud. Not justifying myself, but just talking. This may be a public platform but it's also my private space and I keep my sanity by assuming no one is reading. So write (dance) like no one is watching.

I've also been trying to protect myself from aggressive/impolite Anonymous and also Anonymous who tends to inflate the ego (though unintentionally). Seek refuge in Allah from both.

Like some people out there, I used to prefer solitude to socializing. Maybe I still do and to a certain extent, I am anti-social.  But if people redefined social as Sincere - Open - Collaborative - Interested - Authentic - Likeable, I should think about being social again. The first four qualities are perfectly all right, they are mahmudah qualities, but likable? How? We've been taught to be neutral whether people like us or not. And not sure about doing things purposely to make people like us. It is not about conformity to people, it's about conformity to the rules of the Creator and His best creation - conform to the best of our abilities. But if people happen to like us because of our mahmudah qualities, for our good manners, and to borrow the words of Habib Umar, "a source of security" for others, then that's well and good. Alhamdulillah.

If 'social' had not been redefined in such a positive manner, I would not want to be as sociable as I had been when I was young and attractive. Because being sociable might mean being vulnerable to peer pressure or negative influences from bad company. And that spells regrets! But then again, if regrets take you to Him, take you to the realm of truth and a better understanding of yourself and your Creator, then that's a gift. Indeed Allah works in wondrous ways. Alhamdulillah.

With due respect to social media fans (whom I know have benefited a great deal from such a medium), I am just one of those who are not super excited about updating my status. On most days, my status is either an obedient servant, a ghaflah, or a sinner and that's not for the world to know.

So that's my answer to many of you who have been asking about my FB 'who' is slowly becoming an ex-bf.

Simply,

E