This is an open letter to Aunty S of Spain.
First and foremost, thanks for the inspiration. I found your sincere-sounding letter very inspiring and emotionally uplifting. It's worth waking up at 4.30 a.m. to such a comforting email. Thanks again.
I would like to apologize for the small gap in this blog publishing. I took for granted of how some people might be affected by my hasty act which was driven by anger and frustration. It humbled me to know that some people did mind the gap. Though I must say, this space is not that significant unless Allah wants to make it so to a soul wherever he/she may be.
It's nice to know you are a mother. It's a blessed position/role to have. It's an honor to have a prayer from a mother. Thanks again for your du'a. Verily, I am in need of it. I pray Allah will bless you too - with abundant peace and happiness, you and your family. Ameen.
I am only human. I will be honest and say that I made the blog private yesterday because I was disappointed that some people tried to control my freedom of expression. There are many control freaks out there LOL.
Having lived in Malaysia for a decade, you might know a little bit of Malay. But still for your benefit I will explain a bit 'bout the last posting which was written in the Malay language - it's my mother tongue. That's why my English is not good either. But really we don't have to be apologetic about it. Yet I must say your English is good. Still, what's most important is the honesty and truthfulness that comes with our words. I know another Kashmiri like you (he lives in London by the way) who gave me the impression that Kashmiris are honest people :)
The last posting in Malay was a rather choppy poem I wrote to express my thoughts about the simple blessing of knowing what time it is. It's a simple thing we take for granted. I learned that from a friend who had been released from a short term imprisonment. He shared with me the torments he experienced in jail. Yes, I have all kinds of friends but let's not brand anybody because it is only Allah's acts (af'al) upon a person as He wish. In fact, this friend of mine is very pious. He said, in an 8-by-8 cell shared with another 8 people who mostly talked about drugs, he just kept quiet and recited Al-Ikhlas continually. No clocks around. Days were long and nights were longer. Thus, he said, men are lost without time. But fortunately for him he felt Allah was always around and never far away.
So that's the story behind the Malay poem I wrote which you might not have understood and then as if to add to your disappointment I made this blog private after that posting. It was unintentional. I am sorry. As I said, I was upset because some people tried to block my creative expression. So I rebelled in my own way though it might not make any sense to you and me.
Thanks for writing and for making me realize another simple fact: that the world is big! That there is a country called Spain. Of course I knew that :) and that some people there do care about me and what I do here in KL. Thanks. Often times we are so bogged down with life's daily drama that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Even as I write this I know it's ironic because just a couple of days ago, I had a large world map installed in my Study. I will show you a photo of that later InshaAllah :)
Aunty S, thanks again for your kind words and prayers. May this posting put a smile on your face, as it is my small attempt to redeem myself.
Fi amanillah...ahh as I say that I could still hear Shaykh Ninowy saying that to me a couple of times when we parted the other day. His voice was clear and authoritative. It carried a lot of weight. Amazing how words that come from a beautiful heart can serve as a long lasting balm which we could go back and repeatedly apply for our headaches.
Fi amanillah.
Your sister in Islam,
Eza
p/s
Would love to ramble more but I am late for a computer class. Yes I have computer class on Sunday at 8.30 am. Luckily my teacher has got a great sense of humor. LOL. Alhamdulillah :)
Dear Aunty S, As promised - the World Map. I will from now on look at Spain and think of you :) |
This store has just opened at KLCC. I read, therefore I am. |
salam aleykom! from Romania:) I was missing your posts, I came here to your blog after long time & good to see you well
ReplyDeleteAlaykumSalam warahmatullah dear sister :)
ReplyDeleteI miss you too :)
Am sure you are as pretty as ever :)
Remember me in your du'a please!