"Listen with your heart!" That's what Shaykh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani said in Ramadhan 886 years ago. Why? Because: "My speech is addressed to the heart, so you must listen to it with your hearts and your innermost beings (asrar), then you will be inwardly and outwardly refreshed and the power of your lower selves (nufus) and your passions (ahwiya) will be broken, and the fires of your carnal desires (shahawat) will be extinguished."
And there's another saying of him which I absolutely agree - "You must give your attention and interest to anyone who loves you for your sake, and avoid anyone who loves you for his own."
Allah loves us for our own sake. He wants us to do good because He knows it's for our own good. He takes no profit for the good deeds we do. But people generally love one another out of convenience and to satisfy their ego. When it is no longer convenient, their interest wanes so they shift their attention elsewhere. Little do they realize that all that is pleasing to the flesh is fleeting. When their ego is satiated, they get bored and look for other sources of pleasure to feed their ego. So the cycle continues. That's what happens when we do not have a correct aim in life. The goal as what we have been taught is: Ilahi anta maqsudi wa redhaka matlubi. O Lord You are my goal and Your mercy is what I aim for.
Be a man though you are a woman. A true man is one who is areef, who knows the true purpose of his existence, his raison d'etre. He knows himself and knows his Lord.
May Allah grant us ma'rifah and protect us from people who love us for their own sake.