O son, please forgive me, I know not how to put it all in writing so please allow me to rattle. It felt like a rollercoaster ride, like swimming in the dark waters of Ibn Arabi's complexities and ending up under Rumi's languid waterfall of emotions. It's not making any sense to you I know. I am simply perplexed.
I met a stranger at a bookstore tonight. We were at the Sufi shelf, as you would have expected. He was contemplating to buy a book on Ibn Arabi's teachings - 'Alone with the Alone'. I told him I have got it and that it's too heavy for me. Somehow, he noticed my Naqshbandi pendant and we started talking about tariqa groups. He said he didn't like the fact that some followers idolized their guru too much. I agreed but we shouldn't put the blame on gurus. If we truly love them we should practise what they preach and not blindly and overly glorifiy them. We also agreed that it's difficult to discipline the followers because we all come from different backgrounds and are at different stages of our unique journeys. He asked me from my experience being involved with a few groups, which was the best or truest. He was expecting me to name one. I think my answers dissappointed him. The truth is, I learned different things from each one. There is no one right club. We are like water which follows the shape of the container, a chameleon maybe; no identity; formless perhaps. Because, as the title suggests, at the end of the day we are alone with the Alone. I told him that if there's one Sufi Book he should read, it is 'The One Alone' by Ibn Arabi but my opinion didn't matter. 'I' don't matter. It is all about He alone.
He didn't seem to belong with any groups because he has the tendency to find something that he dislikes about a particular group. Hence, the thirst for knowledge from books. I sincerely pray that Allah will open his heart and guide him to a genuine guide. There is a saying that if you truly are looking for a guru, Allah will send you one even if you are all alone on a hill.
I ended our conversation abruptly to meet a dear friend, a sweet friend of mine who had kindly thought of none but me when she visited Mawlana Rumi's tomb in Konya, Turkey. I am forever humbled and grateful that she had carried me with her to meet the one I adore. When we talked, I realized that she has been going through severe difficulties. Where have I been? Sadness and sympathies aside, she knew that it was a gift, a very big present from the Lord. He presented her with unsurmountable tests, then gave her sabr (patience), gave her the solutions and eventually gave her shakur (gratitude). Who knows what awaits her in heaven? Subhanallah, it's blessing all the way!
She said, 'Ezza, what He says is true, He will open doors and provide from sources you never thought exist or possible."
Waman yattaqillah yaj'allahu makhrajaa wayarzuqhu minhaustu laa yahtasib waman yat tawakkal allAllah wahuwa hasbuhu. Whoever fears Allah, He brings forth a way out for him, and provides him (with what he needs) from where he does not even imagine. And whoever places his trust in Allah, He is sufficient for him. (Qur'an At-Talaq)