Status | Singled out

Bismillah.

Because I am single, I get plenty of me time. So I can spend time to scribble something in response to some funny and sweet postcards sent to me about being single. People like to single out single persons especially single women, that I conclude from my own experience. But of course people mean well, they just want you to be happy or maybe happier, but that's just a perception. Whatever it is, they and we are pro-sunnah after all.

You may recall a postcard posted a couple of days ago. It says: "Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on another for their own happiness. They don't need another to validate their own self worth."

I agree, partly. I say, single or otherwise is a status decreed by the Most Clever. It's not good to always depend on another for our own happiness, true. We can all independently decide to be happy or otherwise. And let no one, single or otherwise, be in need of another to validate our self worth.

Most importantly, I think we are all contented with whatever He has decreed for us: single, married, separated, divorced or widowed. If we are not contented, then we should strive to be. As Muslims, we are fortunate because we have the Hereafter where happiness will be eternal regardless of one's status here.

For all the cute postcards about "being single" that have been sent to me, here's my own version : )

Alhamdulillah wa shukrulillah.

p/s In case you're wondering why ahh Kak Eza dressed up like that. Well she just got back from her colleague's wedding. She's elated. To show how happy she was for her friend, she dressed up a little.

Pray Allah bless the union of N & Dr. S.
Ameen.

Praiser and the One praised

Bismillah.

I was going to make a special mention about praise-r as in the kind people who have praised my writing. But Aunt Merriam [Webster] was quick to correct me. The word praiser is actually a noun for praise and does not in any way refer to the person praising something/someone. 

Hah hah...that's another proof I'm not a good writer actually. But still I want to be honest and say that of all the compliments this amateur writer have received, three came from people who are themselves excellent in their respective fields. Coincidentally, they all live near the Queen of England. So they speak and write the Queen's English. Whereas my English is "Manglish" - mangled Malaysian English.

You may recall one lesson from Shaykh Fahmi Zamzam al-Maliki, he said the "praisers" are praising not because we are so good but because Allah is so good in covering up our flaws and faults. That's from Kitab Al-Hikam. How true!

With due respect to the other "praisers" whom I know are all learned and righteous. You are much appreciated. But who are the three people whose words of praise have made me feel extra grateful and thankful? 

One is a consultant surgeon based in London. Young and accomplished. If I could mention just two of his good traits: he's truthful and polite. [Z: may your upcoming umrah benefit you for the longest time.]

One is a specialist doctor based in Oxford, who seems to be adding more and more qualifications on his already impressive CV. If I may mention his plus points: he's tirelessly seeking knowledge in his area of specialization and also religious knowledge, hopping from one majlis zikr to another. [TW: know that I admire you big time, no matter what.]

One is a lawyer based in London. This person is well mannered and is religion-conscious despite the fact that he grew up and has been living in the UK for many years. He is so very well read mashaAllah that he might have to move to a bigger house to accommodate his ever growing book collections. [C: I am amazed at how humble you are!]

We learned from the shuyukh that when we praise someone, we are in fact praising the good attributes which Allah has bestowed upon them, that which Allah has beautifully manifested on them. When we praise someone, we must recognize who is it we are actually praising. On any and all occasions, He is the One praised.

Pray, may Allah cover our shortcomings. And when we say that, said Shaykh Fahmi Zamzam al-Maliki just last week, it's not because we want people to see only the good about us hence ask Allah to hide the bad. We say 'O Allah cover up our faults' meaning do not let us fall into errors; prevent us from falling into vice; block from us opportunities for transgressing.

Ameen. Allahumma ameen.

A writer's kit

Correcting one's vision

Bismillah.

Allah...Allah...I made a second attempt at improving my hajj vision. Don't know if this one will make it to the holy lands. Chances are still blurry despite having these new pair of spectacles. Whatever will be, will be. We shall see.

Because I am foolishly frank, I will tell you that I am feeling mentally and physically exhausted, and somewhat hopeless so I might escape to a maqam and be a qadam there for a day inshaAllah. Hoping to get basirah - the "eyes" of the heart corrected there. We all need to correct our vision every now and then, don't we? When the going gets tough, get in touch with the unseen realm.

Until then, please excuse me. I really need a break. This time you can say: "Kesian....Kak Eza!" [Pity Sis Eza!]

: (

Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir

Rabbi tamim bil khair

O Lord, make it easy, do not make it difficult.

O Lord, make it end well.

Ameen.

Musalla | Imam Afroz Ali on equality

Bismillah.

Musalla is an Arabic word for our Malay version for surau - a small room in a building or an outbuilding reserved for Muslims to perform our five daily prayers when we are out and about. Musalla at shopping malls in Malaysia is known for being below par. The one at BSC (Bangsar Shopping Centre) in KL, in my opinion, is par excellence. 

  

Today at the BSC musalla, Imam Afroz Ali of the Seekers Guidance and the founder of Al Ghazali Institute of Australia gave a talk on 'Equality in Islam.' The event was jointly organized by Radical Middle Way of UK and Young Muslims Project of Malaysia.

It was my first time attending an event in KL, which had a different approach in the way it was moderated. Imam Afroz wanted it to be interactive, and attendees were encouraged to discuss and express their views openly.

Because I wasn't expecting that, because I was feeling exhausted from traveling and because my comprehension level of spoken English was rather weak, I could not absorb as much information and knowledge as I had hoped.

Some points I did manage to jot down: 

• Love needs not to have a definition. Love may have a description of how you have experienced it.
• We should not worry about form. We should get ourselves concerned with meaning instead.
• The secret of knowledge is service.
• Man and women are biologically different. Research shows that colors mean nothing to an infant male as he sees motion more than anything. A female infant, on the other hand, recognizes color better and is more conscious of soft and hard objects. 
• Our education system is male-centric.
• Men tend to look for a solution, and women just need to express themselves.
• When we speak of equality, an aspect of it is sameness.
• There is a 'sameness' between men and women, but we are different, and in the eyes of Allah, we are the same except in terms of piety (taqwa).
• Two key Arabic definitions concerning equality for us to note:

1. Musawa - from Arabic word sawa or sawiya meaning equality, which means to be the same, to put on the same level, to put on equal footing, non-discrimination before the law. 
2. Adala - means justice of equality that is to be fair and impartial to rights, the honor of integrity, and non-discrimination before the law.

When talking about equality in Islam, we should use adala instead of musawa. Equality in Islam is about returning to "whole." It is about equitable justice. It's about the wholeness of equality.  

One typical example is the authority a man has over a woman in a marriage. Imam Afroz said a man being a leader is not a privilege but a responsibility. Though a man may seem to have the upper hand in a marriage, he is actually subservient to a woman, his mother. So overall, in Islam, this wholeness of equality becomes apparent. 

    

Allahu a'lam.  

When the sun sets | Signs on the horizons

Bismillah.

"And the sun is quickly proceeding towards its destination.
That is the designing of the all-Mighty, the all-Knowing."
- Surah Yassin:38

I am never going to pretend and you must have realized it by now that I listen to all kinds of songs. And if you are like me, that is if you are not a strictly nasheed-only-listener, you would have a theme song for the week, day or month depending on the mood or hal.

But the above ayat is my all time favorite and will always be. How many times do you catch the sun in a day? Don't forget the above ayat each time you set your eyes on that glorious planet. I pray to Allah the Merciful, the all Hearing, the Watcher, the Witness, if everything else I do is deemed unacceptable, flawed and invalid, I pray He be my witness that I remind people of this one ayat from the Qur'an. That He accepts my faith, that I believe in this ayat because I see it manifest everyday. I see His signs on the horizons. I see His signs in myself. 

And this is the other ayat that has triggered faith:

"We shall show them Our signs in the horizons and in their own souls until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth. Is it not sufficient that your Lord is witness to all things?"

(Al-Fussilat : 43) 

  

Sadaqallah al-Azeem

Allah says the truth.

_________________________

Disclaimer:

This blogger sometimes got off the track. So please excuse her. Pardon her appearance whilst she upgrades her deen. Today she saw the sun setting over Kuching riverside from her hotel room at the Riverside Majestic and she thought of sharing His majestic sign with you.

On love, cats and clouds

Bismillah.

Heh heh...someone who's very caring seemed very concerned about my status. She has been sending cute little postcards about being single. Heh heh...let's spend the night rambling since I'm all alone in this very cold hotel room in Kuching. But Anuar Zain the charming singer is serenading ;) he's singing Sedetik Lebih (One more moment). Am trying to chill before tomorrow's seriously dry and long meeting, so excuse me. 

Kucing, that's what we call cats in Malay. Kuching is also a name of a small city in East Malaysia (Borneo). I love this city because my late father loved this place. He worked here for a decade long so I heard plenty about it as a bedtime story when I was small. I grew a love for this city a little bit more because my 'first love' was from here, ahah! And I am loving it because the hotel where I am staying does not make me count towels. In fact, they offer a menu of pillows: cotton, contour, feather, lavender etc. And in the cupboard there's a fresh smelling prayer mat (sejadah) wrapped in plastic, neatly hung. That's what we call good customer service. And love, is in the details.

Allah is very detail. He creates unique clouds in each and every moment. There are never two similar clouds anywhere at any given moment. He is always drawing them continuously and not continually, mind you. Moving them about so effortlessly, giving us beautiful skies to look up to and dream. There's a verse in the Quran about Him creating a canopy for us. And what a beautiful canopy above Kuching I saw just now subhanallah.

From Qur'an 2:22

And this card I received today, puts a smile on my face.

Oh, did you know there are 14 ways cats show their love? Yes! And I show my love by being frank in sharing my thoughts here on this space.

- E -
One Monday in Kuching



p/s 
It's ok Sister P, I am fine. One elderly shaykh once said to me, out of the blue: "In the hereafter, you'll get to choose any one of the shuyukh you fancy!" Hmm...who might it be?

Shaykh Fahmi Zamzam al-Maliki on Al-Hikam and the true Friend

Bismillah.

Alhamdulillah wa shukrulillah, Shaykh Fahmi Zamzam al-Maliki was at Ba'alawi KL yesterday evening. May Allah grant him sihah and afiah and let's not ever take for granted his presence and teachings, this fatherly shaykh whom we all love.

He expounded on several aphorisms of Al-Hikam by Ibn Atha'illah as-Sakandari. The gist of the lessons is as below:

Had Allah not covered the imperfections of our worship/servitude, none of our amal (good deeds) would be accepted. Our worship [amal] is blemished, it's problematic, it's not pure. Allah covers up the flaws of our amal.

We learn from the Prophet the need to say istighfar immediately after solat, we say astaghfirullah three times. We must say istighfar even after having performed a good deed i.e. solat. Should Allah want to be strict with us, none of our good deeds would be counted. When we pray, our hearts roam everywhere. The portion which we are khusyuk (attentive) is negligible. So we try to pray in congregation and have at least 40 people praying so that Allah might accept our prayers. This is especially important for solatul janazah - prayer for the deceased.

The standard of our siyam (fasting) is like that of a primary/elementary school. Our fasting is categorized as awaam (general public) because we merely abstain from food and drinks. Our eyes, mouths etc. are not fasting as it should be. The elite (khawas) fast with all their 7 limbs. And the khawasal khawas (elite of the elite) their fasting is of the highest degree. For example, Saidatina Aishah. She was fasting when she was gifted with a big sum of money equivalent to $70,000. She immediately distributed all the money. When it was nearing iftar, she asked her maid what food was available for them. Apparently, they had nothing much for iftar except for some leftover bread. Shaykh Fahmi said, unlike us, we are always planning and preparing large meals for iftar, what more if we had plenty of money. 

The same goes with our hajj/umrah. Merciful is Allah who disregard our tainted amal. We tend to be proud and boast about our good deeds even though we cannot be sure if it would be accepted by Allah. How can we take pride in something which we do not do ourselves? We should always question our lower nafs. We should always doubt it by asking ourselves: am I really doing this for the sake of Allah? 

The following aphorism was about our needs for Allah's hilim (patience/forebearance) after having performed a good deed more than after having committed a bad deed. Those who commit vice are usually fearful of Allah and are ashamed of themselves. Those who perform a good act have the tendency to feel proud of themselves thinking it's a result of their own effort. They forgot that being able to do a good deed is a blessing from Allah due to hidayah and tawfik from Allah.

We cannot escape Allah's watching over us. We cannot hide from Him. He knows the bad intention behind an evil eye. If we were truly aware of our own misdeeds and shortcomings we would not bother talking about people's faults. There is a Malay saying describing people who could see the most minute flaw of others, no matter how remote/distant it is. Yet he/she is unaware and oblivious of his/her own big faults.

Shaykh Fahmi said, to think we are flawless, clean and unblemished is ujub (pride). It's even worse for someone who is dirty, yet believe he/she is clean. Saidina Ali karamallahu wajhah was one of those who were guaranteed a heavenly reward - the al ashrah. Still he spent the night praying telling his nafs: "Ya nafsi, ghurin ghayri." O nafs, go cheat other people, don't cheat me. Do not ever feel safe from the tricks of your desires. Imam Ghazali said: "To perform a good act is difficult". But to protect the rewards of a good act like solat, siyam and teaching is even more difficult.

The next aphorism was on the need to ask Allah to cover up/veil our shortfalls. There're two meanings to this, said Shaykh Fahmi. The awaam (the commoners) they ask Allah to hide their faults so that people may regard them as a clean/good person. For the khawas (the elite) whay they mean by asking Allah to cover up their faults is that they hope Allah would protect them from any possibilities of doing a bad deed. They are concerned about their reputation in the eyes of Allah, whereas the awaam, they are concerned about people's perception towards them. The awaam, they are impure but want to be seen as pure. The khawaas,  they are pure and want to avoid from falling into errors. The awaam, they have commited vice and want it veiled from people.

If or when people show respect towards you, they are not actually respecting you but it's due to how well Allah has covered up your flaws. Abdullah bin Mas'ud said: "If they knew my faults, they would not show me any respect." Indeed people do not in reality, respect our true realities. People simply respect/honor the garments/coverings which Allah has put in place so as to hide our flaws.

There's a story about a shaykh in Mesir who on one festive occassion had worn ordinary clothes instead of the dressings he's known for, being a shaykh. And people ignored him. He then realized that people only had respect for his outfit and not him as a person. So he said addressing his jubbah and turban: "Now you eat O jubbah, O turban, people have more respect for you than me!"

People are not aware of our akhlak mazmumah (negative traits). We must therefore, doubt and question it.

***
Moving on to the next aphorism, Shaykh Fahmi explained why Allah is our only true Friend. None shall befriend you, who is aware of your shortcomings yet is patient about it.

Allah is our true Friend because He is well aware of us, of our faults but He keeps helping us, always offering us His bounties. Therefore, He is the best person whom we should keep company.

There's a saying by Imam Ghazali: "If a person truly understand with what he/she commits a bad deed, the person would refrain from commiting the bad deed." For example: the eyes. It's a gift from Allah, so how can we use His gifts to do something that He forbids? That would tantamount to kufur of His blessings. Our mouth is a gift from Allah. Allah lends it to us yet we badmouth/backbite people. We just do not know how to be thankful. There are people who worship idols, yet Allah never forsake them. He feeds them. So do not be fooled by Allah's hilim (forbearance) thinking He will forgive us for all that.

We must have adab. If you have cats as pets at home, do not ever think your cats are depending on your rizq. The reverse might be true!

The sahabah received plenty of lessons/admonition for their adab. Saidina Umar got very furious when Hindun bt Utbah (Abu Sufiyan's wife) pledged to eat Saidina Hamzah's heart. A revelation came reminding Umar that he too was like that before, but Allah gave him the blessing of Islam. If we want Allah to forgive us, we must offer pardon to people if we're in the position to do so.

The sahabi (friend) who is most patient with our faults is noneother than Allah. But so little thanks we give. We perform ibadah and foolishly think we are doing Allah a favor. And Allah just keep giving us plenty of things.

***
The last aphorism expounded by Shaykh Fahmi was on the degree of certitude.

Shaykh Ibn Atha'illah said: 'If truly the light of certitude occupies your heart, you will see akhirah so near to you without you having to approach it.'

Shaykh Fahmi said, we will not be so lazy to work for akhirah if we are able to see how close it is to us in actual fact. Many of us think akhirah is far away. The Prophet salallah alaihi wasalam once said, 'I could see the heavens behind the mihrab (prayer niche).' Yakin (certitude) is a degree after iman. There are many people who have iman but so few have yakin. Those who have yakin, their certainty of a particular thing, shapes and influence their actions.

In reference to the third and fourth verse in Surah Al-Baqarah:

 ٱلَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِٱلْغَيْبِ وَيُقِيمُونَ ٱلصَّلٰوةَ وَممَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنْفِقُونَ
وٱلَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِمَآ أُنْزِلَ إِلَيْكَ وَمَآ أُنْزِلَ مِن قَبْلِكَ وَبِٱلآخِرَةِ هُمْ يُوقِنُونَ

"Who believe in the unseen, and are steadfast in salah (prayer) and spend out of what We have provided them; and who believe in what has been revealed to you and what has been revealed before you; and they have faith in the Hereafter."

Shaykh Fahmi said we must have yakin about Allah's reward for us in akhirah for a certain good deed we do. For example, in giving for charity, we must have faith that it is an investment for akhirah. That for every $10 we give away we don't lose that amount, but will only get more. We must have a good degree of certainty on the matters of akhirah.

***
Allahu a'lam. May I be forgiven for any errors and omissions.

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