O son, how many of the Prophet's sunnah do you practise? How many of his sunnah can you spot while you are out and about? Who do you know whose character reminds you of the Prophet?
We all know the Prophet s.a.w loved cats and there are millions of people who love cats. I do too but my feline love affair pale in comparison with Nel's. Nel is a dear friend. We have known each other since we were 18. When I visited her last weekend she introduced me to her sweetheart - Tuah. Tuah means lucky in the Malay language. She found him suffering from a badly injured paw, dying almost. She picked him up from the street, rushed to the vet hospital and paid US$700 for his surgery! Tuah is now a happy three-legged kitten, enjoying himself like nothing happened, like he's normal. MashaAllah!
Just two days ago Habib Ali Zainal Abidin talked about a pious lady, an ahlul ibadah who mistreated her cat. According to the Prophet, ibadah of such a person is meaningless. Now you compare that lady with Nel!
MashaAllah tabarakallah. May Allah surround us with people of good akhlaq. May Allah beautify us with good akhlaq.
Apologise for getting in touch.
ReplyDeleteI need your help. Been a silent reader of your so far, but I have the need to "speak".
I am in turmoil since late, at certain times I am reminded of past sins, either by waswas or via things/places/words that trigger of past memories- I pray fervently for these to go away. They upset and depress me. Sometimes they go away and then at times I do something to negate their effects, either by getting up and doing some ibadah.
I also have in my possession items that reminds me of the past sins. I dont know what to do, should I dispose of them? I do not want to be classed as one of those that was "wasteful" or "extravagance". My other option is to give away to charity, but I feel guilty for doing so, my sins are associated with them, and to give them to someone else as they are tarnished with my sins but the items in themselves are intact. (I am not sure if I am explaining this right, similar to having limbs but using them incorrectly, in way of disobedience to allah, but the limbs themselves are not to blame but the heart that controlled them, these limbs would be fine to give to someone else.) Although nobody knows of this except me and allah. How can I wash these items with my taubah? I kept the items as I had these concerns all this time. But I can't bear keeping them any longer. I wish to get rid of them. I keep thinking about the past because of them. I just feel stuck, I want to be free of this inferiority complex. I do know if its my concern about the "wastage" aspect or Shaytan retaining my guilt to the point it puts me into dispair as opposed to repentance. I need a way to get out of this
Sorry to burden you with this, for now I have no choice but to turn to those whose advice has helped me in the past - allhamdillah.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,
ReplyDeleteDear friend,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Your query gives me the opportunity to answer from my own experience InshaAllah. I was just like you! Looking back I am grateful that if not for the mistakes, I would not have recognized His loving and forgiving attributes. I would not be conscious of His existence.
I am reminded of one advice given by one loving guru - Shaykh Fahmi Al-Maliki, he said we ought to get rid of all the traces and roots of our sins. He also said that we should not talk about it ever again. Just be done with it.
Dear friend, we are all weak, we sin, we regret and we sin some more. We need to be strong and know when to say NO and put a full stop and move on. My sincere advice is to get rid of all the things which are haunting you. Bismillah. Do it for the sake of Allah. He knows what's in your heart, you want to forget about the bad past. Just give them away to charity and pray, O Allah may You forgive me and replace them with something better. That's what people normally do when they lose cash, jewellery or anything. O Allah may you forgive my sins with it and replace with something better.
I will share with you one of the moments of nearness with Allah that I had experienced. I once worked as a cleaner/janitor at a bar. I had this humbling experience while studying in UK. While mopping the floor I remembered my past so tears ran down uncontrollably as I muttered to myself: O Allah just as I am cleaning this floor squeaky clean, please may You clean up the sins I've committed at such places before...
Can you see the hikmah? Moment of nearness and consciousness of Allah need not be at holy places. It can be anywhere, anytime with His grace. A sinner who regrets is far better than a pious person who is proud.
Dear friend, do not be ashamed of yourself. Do not feel inferior that you were a sinner. For only a sinner who repents could have the golden chance of being His lover! I have seen His promise manifested in me. He promises to replace all the bad deeds of a sinner with equal or more good deeds. So if you happen to screw up big time, and if you repent sincerely, Allah will make you do as many good deeds and much more! I have seen that happened to me Subhanallah! He is indeed generous! And what happened to all the people who may have backbite you for your ugly behaviors? It does not matter does it, when you have Allah by your side?
So please just move on for the sake of Allah. Give up on your bad past, give them away, smile be thankful and move on. Make friends with the righteous, befriend the pious, polish the heart with zikr, if your tongue or the tongue of your heart is still heavy to say zikir, just REMEMBER Him with much remembrance!
Wallahu a'lam,
Yours sincerely
Ezza
Thank you so much for your kind words ^^ and for replying so quickly I was praying hard lastnight that you would have a reply, although I thought it may take you a few days. Allahamdillah for your efforts.
ReplyDeleteI cannot thank allah enough for bringing me to your blog.
Thinking about it, the nature of the item is not something I can give to charity, without going into specifics I dont want focus on the problem, but the remedy. I will have to sell it and get it replaced. I just feel it is dragging me down, to brink of despair - which in itself is a sin!
Hate it.
I hope allah helps me in its rightful disposal. I did not know how to wash it with my 'tauba' before getting rid of it. When I think about it I feel sad how I trangressed, how I used something given to me by allah for the wrong reasons, albeit unintentionally. Every time I think about it I feel sick. I dont know if asking allah for getting replaced with something better is right, I mean, how dare I ask when I was given something perfectly in order.
I like you mop moment! How I wish to feel the way you did right there and then, what a beautiful moment for you.
Moving on sounds like a breath of fresh air. Thank you so much, please say a dua for me if you are able to that allah helps make this easy for me.
x
Dear Friend,
ReplyDeleteMay Allah make it easy for you to purify yourself. We pray for the same for all. We'd like to ask for better things from Allah Al-Kareem and better means things that contain more barakah. Allah may give anything to anyone but He may not necessarily give barakah/redha with it. We try to 'cleanse our tawbah' by multiplying our amal/good deeds InshaAllah.
Wallahu a'lam.
Allah guides whomever He wills.
Ezza
Hello. I thought it only right I should inform you since you helped me through this - I got rid of the item today. I cannot express the sense of relief I feel. As if something bad has left my side I feel less burdened than I once did. Truly Allah swt is great, he changed everything for me in the space of one week! I feel ashamed still, I smiled but underneath I still felt ashamed. I hope this pushed me to do more tauba. Thank you for your support.x
ReplyDeleteAssalamualaikum Ezza,
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing about Tuah, my lucky kitten. Alhamdulillah, he touches your heart and soul like he did mine.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has brought Tuah to my life. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me the opportunity to save the almost dying kitten from his cruel abuser. Alhamdulillah, Allah has moved my heart and to take Tuah to the animal medical centre, despite the late hour, which was close to midnight.
The vet, Dr. Siva asked me many times to allow him to put Tuah to sleep as his chance to live was so slim and it would cost me a lot as he'll need surgery, so I might waste my money if he can't be savedm and it was just a stray kitten. But I told him to save Tuah like he will live, and don't worry I will find the money. The old doctor shook his head and was almost in tears. He did his best to save Tuah because I showed him unconditional love. Alhamdulillah Allah has given me unconditional love for Tuah.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me me the means to pay for the medical bill, as at the time, I wasn't sure how I was going to pay it but I was tawakkal I will make ends meet to pay for the costs. Dr. Sive was so kind to give me a big discount on the surgery cost. Or else it would have cost more.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has generously opened my heart to saving 8 kittens who were abandoned or abused, including Tuah. I pray that Allah redha with my efforts. It's not easy raising 8 "kids" and I pray that Allah continues to bless me all the way, and to make my path easier, lighter and brighter.
Inshaallah, for what I have, may have and don't have, I pray that I will be eternally grateful to Allah. Amiiin!!!!!
Love and respect, Nel
Wa'alaykumsalam warahmatullah
ReplyDeleteDear Nel,
May Allah keep your heart beautiful the way it is! May Allah reward you with plenty of blessings for all the good deeds you have done for Tuah and his 7 buddies.
May Allah grant you the best male companion you deserve, one who best match your beautiful heart and manners, one who could bring you much happiness now in this world and in the hereafter. Ameen.
Lots of love,
Ezza
Inshaallah, Eza!
ReplyDeleteAs salam Eza. Just to let you know, Darkie, one of my kittens, the all black kitten, recently died of FIP, a feline virus after fighting it for a week at the animal hospital. He was only 6 months old. Nel.
ReplyDelete